Billie Eilish Didn't 'Think She'd See 17'!

What’s up guys, it’s Erin Robinson back here on Clevver News, and we may be preparing for a fun-filled weekend, but we’ve got a pretty heavy story on our hands today.

Billie Eilish burst onto the musical map just a few short years ago, and as if we didn’t already love her enough, she’s letting fans in on her own past struggles and has allowed fans to relate to her on a whole new level.

During an interview with Gayle King as part of the Gayle King Grammy Special that aired last night, the two spent an entire day together, where Billie was able to give Gayle an inside look into a day in her life.

She said QUOTE, “I didn’t ever think I would be happy again, ever. I don’t want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17.”

After hearing what Billie just admitted, Gayle asked, “You didn’t think you’d make it to 17? But did you think that you would do something to yourself?”

Billie responded with a simple, “Yeah.”

She said, “I remember there was a window right there. And I, God. I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was gonna die was I was gonna do it.”

Throughout most of last year, Billie mentioned that she felt so unhappy and was completely ‘joyless.’

Thankfully she credits the power of music, more specifically, her song lyrics that have gotten her through such a tough time.

In her song “Bury A Friend,” Billie hints at struggling with mental health with lines like, “I wanna end me,” to which Gayle asked if that line was intended to be about herself.

Billie said that it was, and also threw in a lighthearted joke, adding that, “it also rhymed.”

But believe it or not, there actually was a time when Billie questioned whether she even enjoyed making music after spending so much time on tour.

During an interview with Billie Joe Armstrong for Rolling Stone, Billie opened up about the isolating tour life.

She said, “My next album haunts me. There was a period where I was like, 'Do I even enjoy music?' It just felt like so much touring. And I don't mean the shows. The shows are always my favorite part. But it was just traveling and being alone all the time, on a cold bus in Europe, horrible food, and when you come back, everyone's kind of moved on from you.”

She did note that this past tour of hers was the first she’s ever enjoyed, adding, “I feel like I have this amazing thing that now I actually see.”

And aside from the music, I can only assume that the biggest outlet that she’s been able to heavily lean on during tough times is her fanbase.

It’s evident that these heart-to-hearts bring Billie that much closer to her fans, and at times, they even seem to share a friendly or family-like bond.

Back in December, Billie took to Instagram to mourn the death of two of her biggest fans, Kira Stanley and Skylar Davies, who recently passed away.

On her Instagram story, Billie paid tribute to Skylar, writing, “Rest easy beautiful girl. Love you angel. Sending every ounce of love I have to Skylar's family and friends. My heart is shattered.”

Shortly after, she posted another photo in honor of Kira, writing, “F—k. I don't understand why is this all happening. I hate this. I don't know how I'm only finding out now. You're not here anymore. I love you so much Kira. Please fly high. Rest in peace. I wanna scream.”

According to Skylar’s GoFundMe page, she allegedly collapsed, her heart stopped beating, and she never regained consciousness.

As for Kira, it was through social media that fans learned she was battling cancer and was diagnosed with Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma.

At the time Billie was in London celebrating the holidays and taking some much needed time off before her Where Do We Go? world tour kicks off in March.

Billie seems to be in a much better place following her struggle with mental illness last year, and it’s always refreshing to be able to relate to someone who may look like they have it all together, but deep down, she’s just a teenager who’s also trying to navigate her way through life.

As I previously mentioned, we’ll get to see a lot more of Billie in the coming weeks, not only with the start of her tour, but she’ll also be performing at the Grammy Awards this Sunday, so don’t forget to set your DVRs.

Right now, I wanna hear all your thoughts on Billie’s interview with Gayle King… did what she said resonate with you?

And seriously how sweet is her relationship with her fans?

I think I just became a Billie Eilish STAN in a span of about 4 minutes, but get to talking down here in the comments, and then be sure to subscribe and click right over here for another new video.

Thanks for tuning in, I’m your host Erin Robinson and I’ll see you next time.

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